Tag Archives: vote


Aaaah. March is well on its way to lamby-ness. The wedding is well on it’s way to ALMOST HERE. Commence mild concern about how much there is left to do.

We do have our reception well under way, however, which is good. We talked with our catering manager while we were in the QC a couple weeks back. We had already met with him once (he’s also the general events manager at the Figge, conveniently), had a phone conversation, and been emailing back and forth. The only funny thing was, we had already established with him that we needed a vegetarian menu, and it wasn’t until we met again a few weeks ago that I think he realized that we wanted only a vegetarian menu.

So we talked about the menu and decided on a spread of cold things (flatbreads, hummuses, fruit, cheese, salads, crostini, etc) and two hot items (mac n’ cheese and vegan pasta). Everything will be set out most of the night for people to help themselves whenever they like. When we talked about it with my parents later, my mom was really keen on having passed appetizers early in the evening, so we’ll probably do that with some hot appetizers—spanakopita, stuffed mushrooms, and so on.

We also came to some decisions about the ceremony and reception, and now have a rough schedule for the evening. You, dear in-the-know blog reader, can see it here:

-The museum closes at 5:00 and guests can start arriving around 5:15.
-The ceremony is at 5:45 and will probably end a little after 6:00 (the ceremony being one of those aaah-three months-what –are-we-doing things).
-From 6:00 til 7:30 the guest can wander the museum galleries, eat and drink in the lobby, and mingly mingly chatty chatty. Lindsey and I will be taking photos after the ceremony for about an hour (don’t worry, if you’re going to be a part of those photos, we’ll let you know ahead of time). When we’re done with the portraiture, we’ll come down to the reception.
-By 7:30 everyone will be out of the galleries and in the lobby area. We’ll do toasts and speechifying at about 7:45. Break out the champagne.
-After that, Lindsey and I have our first dance. Blog contest: guess our first-dance song and win a prize! You do not have to be at the wedding, or even invited to the wedding, to play and win! Just enter your guess in the comments. If more than one person guesses right, they all get prizes. Then we’re doing father-daughter dances, and then the party starts when I walk in. My internet is really slow right now, but you can all imagine your own Ke$ha scenario. (Actually, our venue contract specifically prohibits glittter.)
-Last call’s at 11:00, and then we should start thinking about an after party. Davenport’s gayborhood is just down the street. #justsaying Seriously though, everybody’s kicked out at midnight.

Fun fun fun. Now we just gotta get those invites in the mail, finalize our ceremony, find dresses for the bridesmaids, a couple of other small things, and countdown fewer than 90 days.

The dance-dance

There was a blizzard in Chicago a few weeks ago. Perhaps you heard? Lindsey and I did what anyone would do, faced with several hours of pummeling wind and thundersnow keeping us house-bound: we cleaned the apartment! And made a list of songs to play at the reception!

Yaaaay! And now, a highly parenthetical post:

Seriously, it was so much fun. We have a good list of music and songs we want to play, both during some chatty-mingly time and during the dance-dance time. We’re staying mostly away from jazzy standards (my tolerance for Bobby Darinesque crooning was a casualty of my job in a coffee shop) and leaning more on acoustic singer/songwriters for the chatty-mingly. We both like sad songs, which we need to keep in balance with happy sounds, so the evening isn’t depressing (I think that means nothing from Tallahassee). There’s going to be a lot of pop music, obviously, in the dance-dance. Also, Lindsey likes really gay music. She wants musical theater numbers. True story. I might insist that we end the night on the song that I’ve decided to end every night in my future gay club with, and that song is Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”.

More suggestions? We wants em.

There are so many questions– like, can you play Bjork and not piss people off? What about hip-hop songs that do not celebrate the virtues of commitment and monogamy? Is this going to be the best Harris party of all time? Profanity… (when do kids fall asleep) (I don’t think Peaches is going to make the cut)?

Also, a poll: How much Madonna is too much Madonna?
a Any
b 2-3 songs
c Not possible
d The entire Ray of Light album played through

(In mostly unrelated news, guys, the new Lady Gaga song has so many things that need saying. And the new Britney! Have you seen her video!)

State by state

A month ago (a month!) I took a trip with Equality Illinois to Springfield, IL to lobby my legislators to support SB 1716. SB 1716 proposes to allow two persons in Illinois to enter into a civil union, regardless of gender. Here’s a good overview of Illinois political movement on SB 1716. (Spoiler alert: not much.) It was an excellent day for me to learn more about legislating in Illinois, meet people from all over the state, and leave some friendly notes for my representatives (one of whom was out of town, and one of whom could not be pinned down.)

Bob, Neil, Clif at the Springfield Capitol (Photo mine)

Since then I’ve been up to my ears in my usual organizing with Join the Impact Chicago, as well as joining LGBT Change, as well as dedicating a few hours to this civil unions bill. I’ll get more into that later, but let’s start with every queer’s question on this issue: support a civil unions bill? That is so 2004. Why bother?

I could go into a couple of heartwarming stories (note to self: this blog needs more heartwarming stories) of couples with decades of loyalty to each other but no legal protection from the state. Or I could take the pragmatic approach, using Massachusetts as a model of how civil unions soften the way for marriage equality. Or I could take a far left tack in the LGBTQ contingent and demand civil unions for all and an abolition of marriage entirely.

All of those are perfectly fine arguments, but when it comes down to it, here’s what I care about: Illinois is getting left out in the cold. When you look at maps of marriage equality over the last 10 years, you see states slowly being shaded in for domestic partnerships, for civil unions, for equal marriage.

Orange (5 +DC): marriage equality Gold (5): equivalent spousal rights Yellow (4): some spousal rights Stripes (2): recognizes other states' marriages

There is an equal marriage bill in the Illinois legislature; it’s dead in the water. If anything is going to be passed this year, it’s SB 1716. If it doesn’t pass this year, we’re likely to have a new governor next year hostile to LGBTQ rights (and a lot of other rights, too). Which means further delays in the LGBTQ movement in Illinois, which means waiting years to start this process all over again (and next time for marriage equality!). We need civil unions this year in Illinois. Not just for the legal recognition of thousands of LGBTQ couples in Illinois, but for the LGBTQ movement as a whole. We need to change the map.

I don’t know if you’ve ever talked to an Illinois state senator or representative, but mostly it’s like wading through molasses. Still, with that cheery recommendation, how bout calling your rep and seeing how they feel about SB1716? It’s a big election year, feel free to take advantage of that.

For a quick, enjoyable, only slightly-out-f-date run-down on marriage equality across the US, I highly recommend

this piece by NPR. Includes a more comprehensive map!

Clippity clop! A follow-up to the color situation.

Lindsey was showing me a dress she bought at Target and we got onto the subject of colors again. I like to make fun of her for her earth tones, though it’s equally easy to make fun of someone who enjoys pairing orange shorts with yellow tank tops.

This anecdote references the cake anecdote I relayed in the previous post:
L: “You’re not allowed to design our wedding cake!”
R: “What! Why?”
L: “Just based on your previous cake experience.”
R: “Everyone loved that cake! I said the colors would be pink, orange, and yellow, and people were like what? but they loved it! Loved it.”
L: “Okay.”
R: “It looked amazing.”
L: “Really.”
R: “It looked like your pony t-shirt.”

This is Lindsey's pony t-shirt.

L: “Oh!” ::pause:: “Well now I kind of like that idea.”
R: “It could have lightning bolts.”
L: “Clippity clop! Clippity clop!”
R: “We should put it up on the blog for a vote.”
L: “No.”
R: “Yes.”

Please vote in the comments: Lindsey and Rachel should have a pony and or unicorn and or lightning bolt themed wedding cake, yes or no?