Tag Archives: family


Aaaah. March is well on its way to lamby-ness. The wedding is well on it’s way to ALMOST HERE. Commence mild concern about how much there is left to do.

We do have our reception well under way, however, which is good. We talked with our catering manager while we were in the QC a couple weeks back. We had already met with him once (he’s also the general events manager at the Figge, conveniently), had a phone conversation, and been emailing back and forth. The only funny thing was, we had already established with him that we needed a vegetarian menu, and it wasn’t until we met again a few weeks ago that I think he realized that we wanted only a vegetarian menu.

So we talked about the menu and decided on a spread of cold things (flatbreads, hummuses, fruit, cheese, salads, crostini, etc) and two hot items (mac n’ cheese and vegan pasta). Everything will be set out most of the night for people to help themselves whenever they like. When we talked about it with my parents later, my mom was really keen on having passed appetizers early in the evening, so we’ll probably do that with some hot appetizers—spanakopita, stuffed mushrooms, and so on.

We also came to some decisions about the ceremony and reception, and now have a rough schedule for the evening. You, dear in-the-know blog reader, can see it here:

-The museum closes at 5:00 and guests can start arriving around 5:15.
-The ceremony is at 5:45 and will probably end a little after 6:00 (the ceremony being one of those aaah-three months-what –are-we-doing things).
-From 6:00 til 7:30 the guest can wander the museum galleries, eat and drink in the lobby, and mingly mingly chatty chatty. Lindsey and I will be taking photos after the ceremony for about an hour (don’t worry, if you’re going to be a part of those photos, we’ll let you know ahead of time). When we’re done with the portraiture, we’ll come down to the reception.
-By 7:30 everyone will be out of the galleries and in the lobby area. We’ll do toasts and speechifying at about 7:45. Break out the champagne.
-After that, Lindsey and I have our first dance. Blog contest: guess our first-dance song and win a prize! You do not have to be at the wedding, or even invited to the wedding, to play and win! Just enter your guess in the comments. If more than one person guesses right, they all get prizes. Then we’re doing father-daughter dances, and then the party starts when I walk in. My internet is really slow right now, but you can all imagine your own Ke$ha scenario. (Actually, our venue contract specifically prohibits glittter.)
-Last call’s at 11:00, and then we should start thinking about an after party. Davenport’s gayborhood is just down the street. #justsaying Seriously though, everybody’s kicked out at midnight.

Fun fun fun. Now we just gotta get those invites in the mail, finalize our ceremony, find dresses for the bridesmaids, a couple of other small things, and countdown fewer than 90 days.


New Year’s Resolution

I’m not sure you noticed, as you were enjoying time with friends and family, but I did not update the blog in December. I was also enjoying time with friends and family. My December was a blur of settling into a new apartment, Chanukah, birthdays, Christmas, New Years, and old friends coming into town. While I talked about the wedding a great deal, I haven’t written anything about it lately. And now, as it’s the very last day of January, I almost haven’t updated this month either.

So, blog, welcome to 2011. Twenty eleven is the year I get married, which means the answer to “When are you getting married?” is no longer “Next year!”, but, “In a few months!” Yikes.

And so while I’m tempted to share with you our big to-do checklist, that would probably be boring. Instead, I’ll be honest: I am now, finally, excited about getting married. The end of one year and the start of another, no matter how arbitrary the Gregorian calendar may be, invite inevitable self reflection. And this being the year of Yikes the Wedding, my self-reflection has stumbled upon a rather startling fact: I am madly ridiculously in love with another person. People being mysterious things, this is a bit of a gamble, when you think about it. Lindsey and I at best only know each other as well we know ourselves, and who can say how well we know that. And here we go, standing up in front of our family and friends to say that we shall trust that we know ourselves, and perhaps each other, well enough that we promise to spend the rest of our lives together.

It’s old-fashioned to value marriage as an institution (it’s old-fashioned, maybe, to value institutions at all). But we do, and so we are. Also, of course, mad ridiculous love.

Wedding weekend!

Not ours!

My older sister got married July 9. Lindsey and I went out to the D.C.-area to attend, then extended the trip with a few days in New York. It was most excellent to catch up with some friends who live in D.C. and NYC.

Being in my sister’s wedding was lovely. It was wonderful to see everyone and meet so much new family (both sides have big expansive families), and amazing to watch Jess and Brian pledge their vows. The wedding was gorgeous, this is what wedding magazines look like.

Wedding Venue: Newton-White Mansion

The highlights of the wedding for me were small. One was getting ready before-hand in an upstairs room of the mansion, with the moms and the bridesmaids and Jess. My mom was so unbelievably happy and everyone was nervous. The room felt very much like something glass. The other moment was when my dad made me cry, by crying when he walked my sister to Brian during the ceremony. Aw, dads crying, you know.

Lindsey and I haven’t officially sent out announcements to everyone in our families that we’re getting married. Jess and Brian were getting married, and ours seemed a long way off. But we haven’t kept it a secret either (hello, internet), so mostly everyone knew. And almost everyone is super psyched about it, which is yay. And probably means it’s about time to put-together some Save-the-Date type things.

Save the Date!

Party A and Party B

On Friday, Lindsey and I hosted our 1 Mile March for Equality (links to photos and videos at that page; more coming later). It was a terrific event.

We arrived at the Rock Island County Clerk’s office to a a flurry of activity. About a dozen friends came out to support us for the day, as well as Lindsey’s mom and brother. The Quad City Times (Davenport) as well as the Argus-Dispatch (Rock Island & Moline) sent reporters and photographers to cover the event. This was startling and gratifying, because as anyone who has ever invited press knows, you’re usually sending those press releases out into the ether. Our modest group was packed with rainbow flags and signs.

I said this then, and I’ll say it again: Lindsey and I have been beyond blessed by the support and love we’ve received throughout our five years together. We heard from dozens of friends and family members who couldn’t come, encouraging us for this event.

The event went as planned. We all walked in the Illinois office and presented our completed application. We were politely, if nervously, turned down, “Illinois doesn’t recognize marriage for same-sex couples.” The whole group of us walked to the Centennial Bridge. We got a lot of positive reactions from cars going by, and only a couple of negative ones. No one threw anything at us. The Iowa office welcomed us, and in a surreally-overphotographed moment, Lindsey handed in our form and we signed our names. Her brother Patrick acted as our legal witness, as Lindsey had for his marriage license. Ten minutes later, they printed our documents and we’re officially Party A and Party B. (Iowa allows you to check you choice of Bride, Groom, or Spouse on your license application, but both participants are legally Party A and Party B. Identifying your gender is optional; we did so that the Recorder’s Office can quantify the impact of equal marriage in Iowa. Yay statistics.)

Back in Rock Island, a few people watched the documentary which inspired this march, Heartland Transport, and then we discussed the state of marriage in Illinois, Iowa, and the country.

Lindsey’s mother spoke up a little. Lindsey’s mother has moved from unsure about this whole relationship to showing up at protest marches. This woman is amazing. Please, come out to your friends and family. They can surprise you. She spoke a moment on how it’s hard to come out as an ally, hard to talk about how her daughter is gay without being all “This is Lindsey, my gay daughter”, how it’s sometimes hard to see how visible and out she and I are. But then she said, “But I always taught them to speak up if something’s not fair.”

We need to keep up the movement. If you left a comment on one of our Facebook pages, if you read the page here at the blog, if you read the newspaper or saw it on the news, if you told your friends about your friends getting married in Iowa: do something to help. Call your Senator, call your State Reps, ask them about equal marriage in the country or in your state. Join a group. Ask your local LGBTQ rights group for something to do. Write a letter to your local paper’s editor. If you live in Illinois or Iowa and want to get involved, send us a message, we’ll hook you up. Speak out if you think this isn’t fair.